Some Thoughts on the Application, pt. 2: How to fix a bad SoP

People in JET circles agree that the SoP, or Statement of Purpose, is the most important part of the application. You get two double spaced pages to tell the consulate why Japan, why you, and what you can do for them. Stellar qualifications but a shit SoP won't land you an interview. When I wrote mine, I dug around the internet for both successful and unsuccessful SoPs written by previous applicants.

As a scientist-in-training, I think writing the JET SoP is sort of like hypothesis testing. Logic of Science tells us that hypotheses can never be proved, only disproved. (Sure, they can be supported by a lot of evidence, but once one study shows the contrary using solid science, the hypothesis goes down the drain or gets reworked.) Reading successful SoPs can show you as a writer what works, but that alone doesn't guarantee your own success. On the other hand, if your SoP sounds like an unsuccessful applicant's, you can be sure to kiss your interview prospects goodbye. 

Here are few SoP examples I looked at that may also be useful.

Successful, Australia, 1994

Successful, USA, 2006

Successful, Canada, 2006

Successful, 2005

Successful, New Zealand 2013 (for CIR position)

Unsuccessful, USA, 2004

For my SoP, I ended doing about 4 drafts, with significant revisions between each draft. I also got about 10 people total to read and give feedback during the drafting process. 

Here is the Statement of Purpose prompt (for the US 2016 cycle):

Submit an application statement of purpose / essay regarding your motivation for applying to the JET Program. Applicants should take this opportunity to address the following:

●     Why you wish to go to as a participant of the JET Program and why you are interested in the position for which you are applying (ALT or CIR).

●     What effect you hope to have on the Japanese community and internationally as a result of your participation in the JET Program.

●     How your experiences, professional skills, and relevant interests will be useful to you as an ALT or CIR, and will further the objectives of the JET Program.

●     What you hope to gain, both personally and professionally, from your JET experience if you are selected and how participation will assist you in your future career.

Applicants should take this opportunity not only to explain their motivation for applying, but also to showcase their knowledge of standard conventions for proper American English grammar and spelling.

Here's the first draft I wrote. It's shit. And I'll tell you why.